امیر صادقی
Member
Seller's Terms...what they say & what they mean...
Some of these have been collected off the 'net or sent in by veiwers, and others I've thought of. Hope you get alot of laughs!
* Big Trot: can't canter within a 2 mile straightaway
* Nicely Started: we can lounge him, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet
* Top Show Horse: won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane
* Home Bred: knows nothing except being raised on the front porch
* Recently Vetted: someone else found something badly wrong with the horse
* Big Boned: good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow
* Doing Courses: when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight before hand
* Well Mannered: hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week
* Professionally Trained: hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month
* Should Mature 16 hands: currently 13h, dam is 14.3hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA
* To Good Home Only: not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document
* Bold: runaway
* Athletic: He's a runaway, but he looks good doing it
* Needs intermediate Rider: runaway
* Needs Experienced Rider: "dead" runaway
* Dead Quiet: just dead
* Started O/F: Started overfeeding because we can't ride
* No Vices: especially when he wears his muzzle
* Light Cribber: we can't afford to build any more barns & fences for the buzz saw
* No Time For Him: he's lucky to be fed
* Excellent Disposition: never been out of his stall
* Clips, hauls, and Loads: Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make when he hauls a$$ across the parking lot when you try to load him
* Great Halter Prospect: Bred for beauty, not for brains
* Selling due to divorce: My spouse certaintly couldn't stand him...
* Bomb Proof: So dumb you could set off a bomb under his tail and he wouldn't blink.
* Good Mother: She's too dumb to do anything else.
* He Can Do It All: bite, kick, buck, rear...
* Flasy: nice looking... forget about him being rideable
* Stunning: you'll be stunned at his kicking power
* Very Brave: even a whip can't force him back
* Slight Case Of Navicular: better buy him before he's too lame to walk
* Proven Sire: The mare we bred him to had a baby
* Lots of Potential: Under the right circumstances, you migh be able to ride him
* Great Bloodlines: He can't do anything, but that's okay becuase some horse 20 generations back did something
* Already Broke: two fences, one arm, six buckets
* Got Cow Sense: he'll attack any cattle within a 5-mile radius
* Unregistered: probably stolen
* Protective Mother: don't even think about going near the foal
* Lady's Horse: Perfectly sweet with women, but will kill men
* Good Disposition: The only good thing about him
* Selling Due to Retirement: he's making us old
* Started Good: we quit while we were ahead
* Started: we quit while we were still alive
* Loud Color: we spray painted him bright red
* Really Broke: literally
* Slight Nervouse Habit: he shakes and has muscles ticks anytime anyone asks him to think
* Great Stud: breeding is the only thing he's good at
* Anyone Can Ride: as long as they have the right protective gear, they will survive
* Smooth: you won't notice he's bucking until you're on the ground!
* Event Prospect: Big, Fast Horse
* Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow Horse
* Hack Prospect: Pretty Color
* Sporting Prospect: Short, Fast Horse
* Camp Prospect: Fast Horse which can turn
* Endurance Prospect: Fast Horse which will turn sometimes
* Flashy: White Socks
* Attractive: Bay
* 15.2hh: 14.3hh
* 16.2hh: 15.3hh
* To Loving Home Only: Expensive
* To Show Home Only: Very Expensive
* Needs Experienced Rider: Potentially Lethal
* Elegant: Thin
* In Good Condition: Foundered
* Free Moving: Bolts
* Quiet: Lame in Both Front Legs
* Dead Quiet: Lame in All Four Legs
* Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all Round, Deaf and Blind
* Loves Children: Kicks and Bites
* Pony Type: Small and Hairy
* Arab Type:Looks startled
* TB Type: Looks Terrified
* Quarter Horse Type: Chunky
* Halter Horse Type: Fat
* Warmblood Type: Big and Hairy
* Draught Type: Big and Exceedingly Hairy
* Easy to Catch: Very Old
* Must Sell: Wife has left home and taking kids
* All Offers Considered: I am in Traction for 6 months
* Good Jumper prospect: Looks great jumping over the pasture fence, if you can ever catch'im, you might just have yourself a great jumper!
Some of these have been collected off the 'net or sent in by veiwers, and others I've thought of. Hope you get alot of laughs!
* Big Trot: can't canter within a 2 mile straightaway
* Nicely Started: we can lounge him, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet
* Top Show Horse: won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane
* Home Bred: knows nothing except being raised on the front porch
* Recently Vetted: someone else found something badly wrong with the horse
* Big Boned: good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow
* Doing Courses: when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight before hand
* Well Mannered: hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week
* Professionally Trained: hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month
* Should Mature 16 hands: currently 13h, dam is 14.3hh, sire is 15hh, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA
* To Good Home Only: not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document
* Bold: runaway
* Athletic: He's a runaway, but he looks good doing it
* Needs intermediate Rider: runaway
* Needs Experienced Rider: "dead" runaway
* Dead Quiet: just dead
* Started O/F: Started overfeeding because we can't ride
* No Vices: especially when he wears his muzzle
* Light Cribber: we can't afford to build any more barns & fences for the buzz saw
* No Time For Him: he's lucky to be fed
* Excellent Disposition: never been out of his stall
* Clips, hauls, and Loads: Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make when he hauls a$$ across the parking lot when you try to load him
* Great Halter Prospect: Bred for beauty, not for brains
* Selling due to divorce: My spouse certaintly couldn't stand him...
* Bomb Proof: So dumb you could set off a bomb under his tail and he wouldn't blink.
* Good Mother: She's too dumb to do anything else.
* He Can Do It All: bite, kick, buck, rear...
* Flasy: nice looking... forget about him being rideable
* Stunning: you'll be stunned at his kicking power
* Very Brave: even a whip can't force him back
* Slight Case Of Navicular: better buy him before he's too lame to walk
* Proven Sire: The mare we bred him to had a baby
* Lots of Potential: Under the right circumstances, you migh be able to ride him
* Great Bloodlines: He can't do anything, but that's okay becuase some horse 20 generations back did something
* Already Broke: two fences, one arm, six buckets
* Got Cow Sense: he'll attack any cattle within a 5-mile radius
* Unregistered: probably stolen
* Protective Mother: don't even think about going near the foal
* Lady's Horse: Perfectly sweet with women, but will kill men
* Good Disposition: The only good thing about him
* Selling Due to Retirement: he's making us old
* Started Good: we quit while we were ahead
* Started: we quit while we were still alive
* Loud Color: we spray painted him bright red
* Really Broke: literally
* Slight Nervouse Habit: he shakes and has muscles ticks anytime anyone asks him to think
* Great Stud: breeding is the only thing he's good at
* Anyone Can Ride: as long as they have the right protective gear, they will survive
* Smooth: you won't notice he's bucking until you're on the ground!
* Event Prospect: Big, Fast Horse
* Dressage Prospect: Big, Slow Horse
* Hack Prospect: Pretty Color
* Sporting Prospect: Short, Fast Horse
* Camp Prospect: Fast Horse which can turn
* Endurance Prospect: Fast Horse which will turn sometimes
* Flashy: White Socks
* Attractive: Bay
* 15.2hh: 14.3hh
* 16.2hh: 15.3hh
* To Loving Home Only: Expensive
* To Show Home Only: Very Expensive
* Needs Experienced Rider: Potentially Lethal
* Elegant: Thin
* In Good Condition: Foundered
* Free Moving: Bolts
* Quiet: Lame in Both Front Legs
* Dead Quiet: Lame in All Four Legs
* Good in Traffic (Bombproof): Lame all Round, Deaf and Blind
* Loves Children: Kicks and Bites
* Pony Type: Small and Hairy
* Arab Type:Looks startled
* TB Type: Looks Terrified
* Quarter Horse Type: Chunky
* Halter Horse Type: Fat
* Warmblood Type: Big and Hairy
* Draught Type: Big and Exceedingly Hairy
* Easy to Catch: Very Old
* Must Sell: Wife has left home and taking kids
* All Offers Considered: I am in Traction for 6 months
* Good Jumper prospect: Looks great jumping over the pasture fence, if you can ever catch'im, you might just have yourself a great jumper!